I have a strong relationship with my partner. I feel supported, loved, and valued. I never feel alone. I always have someone to talk to, work through issues with, and get advice from. And, I have a ton of fun with him no matter what we are doing. I have an amazingly strong relationship, but it didn’t just fall into place like that. I credit a few things that we have implemented into our relationship that has strengthened it.
1. We Know Each Other Very Well
We are different, but we have taken the time to get to know each other and understand where we are coming from. This has helped us avoid issues that stem from misunderstandings and differences of opinion. It has also helped us to avoid labeling each other with our own assumptions.
We made sure to clarify important things right from the start, too.
For instance, we talked about the important things like having kids and marriage right off the bat. We talked about insecurities and weaknesses we both had. We talked about strengths and hopes for the future.
And, we took the time to validate each other for who we are. We still do.
Once you know your partner’s dreams, goals, and values, inside and out, you can find ways to support each other and maintain a strong relationship.
2. We Spend Quality Time Together
We make a point of spending as much quality time together as we can. Quality time is so important for our connection and understanding of each other. In fact, the clearest moments I have of our relationship are when we have spent quality time together talking, interacting, playing, or experiencing something.
We are about to take a course on Mindvalley called Lifebook, and one of the things Jon Butcher talks about in his Masterclass is the habits he has in his relationship. He has daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly habits with his wife, and this insight has made our quality time habits much more defined and clear. Before we used to just spend quality time together whenever we could, but now we have clear defined habits around quality time.
3. We Value Our Alone Time
We also value our independent time. This is because we both have different interests and goals and need to spend time in those areas of our lives to feel whole and complete.
Even though we are a team in life, we are both on our own unique paths. Alone time allows us to follow those paths.
I remember when I was young and wouldn’t let my boyfriends out of my sight. I gave up all my interests so that I could follow theirs! No wonder I felt so miserable!
4. We Forgive Easily
Despite our strong relationship and our best intentions, mistakes happen. That’s where forgiveness comes in. Without it, we would be holding onto grudges and issues from the past 14 years. That stuff can build up and affect your decisions and interactions in a big way, so it’s important to let it go.
5. We Value Our Own Opinions The Most
We try not to take other people’s opinions to heart and, instead, see the humor in them. For instance, when someone told us that we were just playing house because we hadn’t got married yet, we could have let that affect how we view our relationship. But, instead, we will often joke about playing house.
We know how committed we are to each other, so we don’t need other people to inform us of how we should be.
Moreover, we know what we want as a couple, and we have developed habits and beliefs that help us maintain that integrity in our relationship despite what other people believe, say, or do.
6. We Keep Each Other Up To Date
There are no secrets in our relationship. And, I could tell you what’s happened to my partner for the last 14 years of our relationship. That’s because we keep each other up to date on what we do, how we feel, and what we’ve changed our minds about. This allows us to know each other on a deeper level, adapt to any changes, and keep unwanted surprises out of the way.
7. He Is My Number One Priority And Vice Versa
If my partner is having a bad day, I will do what I can to comfort him and support him. I won’t make something else more important in that moment. He is my number one priority because he is my best friend, biggest supporter, and most valued person in my life. If he needs me, I’m there for him. And he does the same.
Moreover, our relationship is important enough that we make time to keep it healthy. Other people and things don’t take priority over our relationships health. That’s a huge reason for our strong relationship.
8. We Are Not Needy
Of course, just because our number one priority is each other, we don’t take advantage of that.
If I know that my partner needs to accomplish something for the day, I’m not going to bring him into my personal issues and take him away from what needs to be done. I value his experience and his life, and I won’t take advantage of his concern for me when I know he needs to focus on something that is concerning him. I encourage him to do what he needs to do and then come to me and support me. And he does the same.
9. We Read Between The Lines
Even though we are very honest with each other, we still have that desire to be understood without having to say anything. Reading between the lines is important to accomplish that and maintain a strong relationship.
Sometimes he doesn’t want to tell me that he needs my love or support. He just wants me to offer it without being asked. And sometimes I don’t want to tell him what I need. I would rather he just do things on his own without being told to. The good thing is that we are very good at reading between the lines!
Of course, in order to read between the lines, you need to know your partner, which makes all the rest of these relationship traits so important.
10. We Compliment Each Other – A Lot
I can’t remember a day where my partner didn’t compliment me. Whether he’s talking about me physically or intellectually, he is always saying something nice about me and making me feel good about myself. I do the same for him.
Making each other feel good is a priority in our relationship. We have enough people out there telling us that we are not good enough the way we are, so we find that it’s important to remind each other just how awesome we are.