Last Updated on October 15, 2020 by Kari
I knew that a course was coming up on Mindvalley based on The Energies of Love, so I wanted to get a head start and read it and learn a little bit more about what Donna Eden and David Feinstein had to say on this topic. I found many things interesting, such as how David uses energy therapy as a part of his practice. But I don’t think these energy practices and relationship practices are going to resonate with everyone. If you are not sure whether or not The Energies of Love will resonate with you, my review should help you make that decision.
The Topics In The Energies Of Love Will Be Straight Up Overwhelming For Some People
Donna Eden and David Feinstein have had there share of relationship issues, which they are very candid about in The Energies of Love, but they are very open-minded and willing to use techniques to better their relationship. In fact, David Feinstein talks about how he and Donna Eden give each other energy-focused massages every morning that they can.
Not every person is going to be willing to do that kind of stuff.
Moreover, not every partner is going to be willing to even attempt the stuff talked about in The Energies of Love. For some people, it’s going to feel weird, out of your comfort zone, and silly. And for others, it will feel frustrating.
I had a friend over when I started reading The Energies of Love. She started to take the book’s quiz on what her and her partner’s energetic stress style is. Energies of Love talks about how we all have our own energetic stress style when it comes to stress in the relationship and, with that awareness, makes it easier to work through your differences and come to mutually beneficial observations and actions.
My friend got very upset when taking this quiz. She became overwhelmed and couldn’t answer the questions about herself or her partner. She told me that her partner does not like anything to do with conflict and he told her years ago that he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings, let alone work through them with her. So, thinking about how we all approach conflict differently (and the fact that it could be resolved by each taking into consideration the other’s approach) was very upsetting for her because she knew her partner wasn’t even going to be willing to talk about it.
In other words, she has given up on the whole idea of having those types of discussions with her partner and this quiz was just reminded her that she wasn’t in a relationship with someone who was willing to work on it and make it better.
It’s not something I thought about until she was sitting in front of me crying and frustrated.
I believe that one person’s changes can impact a relationship positively, whether or not the other person in the relationship does anything to change. And I think Energies of Love can help couples understand each other better and work through issues with more tolerance, but I also think that both people in the relationship have to be willing to work on things somewhat because energy work is an involved process.
Part of The Energies of Love focuses on working on your own emotions, but part of the book focuses on working on your relationship together, and that’s just not going to happen for some people.
Some Of The Techniques In The Energies Of Love Are Uncomfortable To Do With A Partner
Beyond being willing to do the things talked about in Energies of Love, some of the techniques are just uncomfortable to do, even for the most willing people.
I can see Donna and David doing things talked about, but when I think about myself doing it with my husband, it just feels awkward.
For instance, I like the tapping part in The Energies of Love. Tapping on problems is a big part of energy psychology and I like doing it myself. But there was a part where Donna and David were talking about tapping with each other about an issue one of them was having in the relationship, and it just sounds weird to me. I think it would be so uncomfortable to do that it would override any benefits it gave me and my husband. We would be too focused on how abnormal we felt.
I don’t know why it feels abnormal thinking about doing it while talking to my husband and normal while doing it by myself, but it does, and it’s not something I want to actively pursue as a relationship tool that we do together – at least not now.
Learn How You Deal With Stress In Relationships
There are a few different ways that The Energies of Love helps you deal with stress in the relationship.
1. Learn Your Weakness and Strengths
As I said, you do a quiz about your energetic stress style, and this does give you insight into how you deal with conflict in the relationship.
Donna Eden and David Feinstein explain how to play with your strengths in your energetic stress style so that you can work with who you are and positively impact your relationship because of it. Also, they show how understanding how your partner reacts because of their energetic stress style can help you accept them for who they are and help you teach them (if they are not reading The Energies of Love with you) how they can work with their strengths.
2. Learn A Pact That Will Help You Get Out Of Conflict And Back On Track
When you find yourself in conflict, Donna Eden and David Feinstein suggest you make a pact for setting things straight. It’s a four-part pact that involves energy therapy such as tapping and some energetic techniques that help you calm your body and refocus your mind. Interestingly, the energy techniques taught in The Energies of Love are some of the same techniques taught in Energy Medicine by Donna Eden.
The energy therapy that involves tapping is used for a lot of different scenarios throughout The Energies of Love. You will quickly memorize how to do it and learn when to use it to help yourself reduce your emotions, destress, and come back to your center.
Learn Energetic Therapy That Will Support Positive Relationships
We can tell you that innumerable individuals and couples have gained strong benefits from using energy psychology techniques on a self-help basis. – Donna Eden and David Feinstein in The Energies of Love
The daily energy routine taught in The Energies of Love is good for keeping a positive flow of energy for physical and mental clarity. It also, according to Donna Eden and David Feinstein, helps keep your hormones, such as oxytocin and testosterone which are both important for that feeling of love with your partner, in good balance. They say that along with taking actions that produce hormones that stimulate the energies of bonding (they list out ways to do this) you can use energy techniques to stimulate the hormones of love and relationship.
In The Energies of Love, they also talk about acupuncture points and how they are gateways into the body’s energy system. They talk about how energy psychology practitioners use acupoint tapping to help disrupt a negative pattern that is occurring at its neurological course. I found all of this very interesting and use this daily since learning about it.
And they also talk about how energy therapy can help improve your relationship. These are things that you may not think about, such as changing how you respond to triggers that evoke rage, hurt, or resentment. You will learn how energy therapy can help do a lot of positive things for you and your relationship. Donna Eden and David Feinstein say that over their course of the long careers, they have noticed that energy therapy is the most powerful tool they have come across for helping people in relationships who want to change unwanted patterns in their interactions. You will learn an energetic therapy recipe that you can use whenever you want to tackle a problem that you are facing, whether its stress or a current high-level emotion.
I noticed that part of one of the energy therapy techniques taught in The Energies of Love was also taught in the Stress Quest with Paul McKenna. It involves simply eye movements and humming and counting. So simple, but so effective.
The Energetic Therapy Techniques In The Energies Of Love Can Help In All Areas Of Life
Besides relationships, I noticed that these energetic therapy techniques talked about in The Energies of Love can help with other things.
For example, you can tackle resistance towards reaching goals, such as conflicting desires, fears, and psychological reversals with energy therapy.
Learn More About The Energy Dimension In The Energies Of Love
Even if Donna Eden and David Feinstein are not talking about building a more loving relationship from an energy perspective, they do explain how what they are talking about is seen in the energy dimension in The Energies of Love.
It’s very interesting because you know that many times Donna Eden is explaining how she sees things in the energy world. It gives you a picture of what’s happening energetically when certain things are playing out in a relationship or when something is happening in your life.
These Energy Therapy Techniques Aren’t Going To Stop Relationship Problems… Or Any Problems
What Donna Eden and David Feinstein talk about in The Energies of Love are techniques that can help you when problems arise, such as limiting beliefs, conflict, fear, anger, etc.
I found them to be really open in this book about their relationship. It’s obvious that they don’t have a smooth sailing relationship full of rainbows and lollipops. They have their struggles. But they have energetic tools to help them deal with those struggles when they come up, and they are BOTH willing to use them. That’s what helps their relationship stay strong and, more importantly, grow.
One of the things they talk about is how personal development can sometimes be linked to an upward spiral where you have the same issues repeatedly. I think we have all experienced this! We keep having the same problem over and over again despite our personal growth. They say that this is normal and that the more effectively you deal with the issue during the current point on that upward spiral, the more the issue becomes a benefit to your life rather than a limitation.
Dealing with these issues with energy therapy techniques can really help you move through them as well as uncover any issues that are keeping them around. Energy therapy can help you move through emotional intensity without escalating things.
It’s very interesting as you learn how to work through problems from Donna Eden and David Einstein. They even lead you through an issue that Donna Eden has as they work through it, which is very personal and a great example of how to deal with an issue that arises on that upward spiral of personal growth.
Just be prepared to uncover new emotions as you work through more obvious ones. Because, as you will learn, you will discover new emotions that need working through as you use your energy therapy technique.
Conscious Partnering Means Working Together To Create A Better Relationship
In The Energies of Love, you learn how to deal with the emotions that arise in you in your relationship. But you also learn some mutual energy therapy practices that will elevate your relationship on an energetic level, including sexual practices.
Again, I think this will only benefit people who have a partner that is willing to work on things.
For instance, one therapy focuses on telling the microscopic truth. I know people who lie to themselves and their partners on a regular basis and can’t tell the truth, let alone the microscopic truth.
Also, The Energies of Love talks about shared prayers and invocations, which I can’t see a ton of people practicing. I can see some people in my life trying this out, but not the majority.
Then again, I don’t know their most intimate life and what they will be willing to do with the safety of only their partner knowing and seeing.
I just feel like you will have a lot to think about after reading the tips and thoughts on conscious partnering, but I’m not sure that everyone will be able to implement what’s talked about in the conscious partnering chapters.
The Energies Of Love Looks At The Whole Of A Relationship
Donna Eden and David Feinstein look at the psychological, social, biochemical, and spiritual aspects of love. They explain how your body’s energies play a role in each of these areas. And they give you techniques to help you work through issues in those areas.
If you and your partner are willing to try out what they teach, the book can benefit your relationship. My husband and I understand each other better after reading the book and have adopted some of the techniques talked about, but not all. Some of them are just so outside of my comfort zone that I can’t even approach them with my husband.
Maybe that will change with the quest version of this book. Maybe by then, I will be a little more comfortable with the practices that Donna Eden and David Feinstein talk about. But I doubt it.
I can guarantee that we will take the Energies of Love quest together, but I can’t guarantee that we will practice everything they teach in there either.
In the end, I feel like The Energies of Love helps you understand your relationship better and highlights the importance of taking action in your relationship for connection and growth. It was an interesting read and I took a few energy therapy practices out of it that help me not only in my relationship when I get stressed out but in everyday life when I get stressed out or want to focus or come to my center.
You can check out the book on Amazon for yourself. You can also wait for their quest to come out on Mindvalley (I heard it’s coming out in August sometime.) Or, you can buy the All Access Pass from Mindvalley and get it included automatically in your account once it comes out. Or just wait for my review of the quest and see if that might interest you more than the book!